Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The { J O U R N E Y } : Before The Call : Part One

once i had made the decision to serve, the last thing on my mind was passing the physical. it shouldn't have been. but i thought i was in complete health, maybe not as healthy as i was back when i used to ballroom dance...but i had great abs and i'm naturally thin. plus!

apparently i have Hashimotos Disease {long explanation short: my thyroid is swollen and i'm not getting the chemicals i need to have normal sleep patterns, weight, mood swings and [[cough]] stool. heh heh. sorry.} anyway. my doctor told me that my hormonal levels etc were {CRAZY} wacked. for most people normal levels i believe is somewhere near 5 i think? well mine were at about 37 {which according to the testing method used actually doesn't mean i'm on the high end, rather on the low end of thyroid levels. don't ask me, i don't understand and probably never will.}

so my doctor told me that because my levels were so off, she wouldn't be able to sign my physical papers until they were fixed and she predicted that that wouldn't be for another SIX months! i was devastated.

that night after finding out, i was probably in the lowest low i had had in nearly eight months. luckily it was the weekend and my best friend was back in town from his job up in northern utah and he took me to go get some hot chocolate {or ice cream, either one i can't remember ha} and everything just came pouring out of me.

you see...when the announcement first came about the age change for girls, it meant that suddenly my best friend and i were three years closer to a possible future together. we were going to "not wait" for each other while on their mission and then see where things were afterward. after the age change...our journey changed from five years to only two. but with my health issue...

to put it simply, it felt like the Lord was giving me mixed signals. He made it possible for things to work out, and then he made it more difficult than ever? i was just confused. and i'm...human, and hopelessly flawed and...i got mad at my best friend. i said a lot of things that i shouldn't have. and for a while there...our friendship was scarred. but...time healed that wound and even though i wasn't able to get my call before he left for his mission...after a lot of prayer and fasting and going to the temple and going and talking to my "godfather" {a close family friend who i have always looked up to, who is like an uncle to me}...i learned to trust in the Lord again. and ....finally, i was at peace.

and then a miracle happened. after only a month of taking my new medication i went in for my first monthly blood test....and when my doctor got my results, she called me and told me....i was good to go!

it may have been only a small miracle for the Lord to pull...but to me, it was the most beautiful miracle of all. He wants me to serve this mission and even though there are obstacles...i know that they are only there to strengthen me so that i may be a better missionary.

this strengthened my testimony so much concerning the power of fasting and prayer and temple attendance. i know that when our hearts are in alignment with the will of our Father's...great things can happen. and because of that, i am beyond excited to serve a mission! to be able to tell people of His love for each one of just individually...what more can i ask for?

{to be continued.}

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